The Joyful Attorney

Episode 79: Commitment

October 19, 2022 Laura Kelley, Esq. Season 1 Episode 79
The Joyful Attorney
Episode 79: Commitment
Show Notes Transcript

True commitment is supposed to be hard and uncomfortable, but true commitment is the only way to achieve your real goals in life. 

Professionalism CLE: Mindful Communication for Lawyers.

Joyful on Demand Free for 30 days with Code JOYFUL at checkout

Hello Colleagues, whenever or wherever you are. Welcome to the Joyful Attorney Podcast. I’m your host Professional Certified Coach and practicing attorney, Laura Kelley.


Today, I want to talk to you about commitment. I think this is a word we throw around without recognizing its true implications. 


My teacher, Brooke Castillo, taught me that commitment means absolute dedication to a result, goal, or outcome. It means that quitting is not an option. In other words, even if we have a setback or a failure, we do not allow ourselves to be discouraged and to stop. It means saying yes over and over again until a particular goal is achieved. 


Commitment does not mean desiring or wanting a particular goal or outcome. It doesn’t mean pursuing our dreams so long as it is easy and we are successful. 


When we are committed, we choose short-term discomfort for long-term gain. When we are committed, we don’t hedge our bets. We are all in. We don’t take no for an answer. And we take massive action. That means we keep taking action towards our goal again, and again, and again. 


So let me ask you: how many goals, outcomes, and results are you truly committed to?


Most of us have two great fears: rejection and failure. Three if you count clowns. And my thoughts are with those of you struggling with the appearance of horror clowns around people’s houses at Halloween.


But rejection and failure  keep us from committing fully to an endeavor. We hear ‘no’ too many times, so clearly it’s not working, so we quit. We don’t succeed, so we quit. 


The problem with quitting is that it becomes a habit. 


Our human minds want us safe and secure in the middle of the motivational triad where we seek pleasure, avoid pain, and expend as little energy as possible. This soft squishy center of the motivational triad is our comfort zone. Nothing great happens in the comfort zone. 


Quitting keeps us from reaching our potential. Quitting keeps us stuck. 


Now, I have some caveats of course. If you are committed to a get rich-quick-scheme, the wall street bets subreddit, Multi Level Marketing schemes, network marketing, etc. let me say that you aren’t actually committed to a result, outcome, or goal that is derived from yourself. You can’t be committed to winning the lottery. That’s not on you. You can’t be committed to a slot machine payout. MLMs exploit their participants. 


You can only truly be committed to a result, outcome, or goal that you can create for yourself. If your commitment requires external forces…like luck…or naive participants…or timing the market, then it’s not your commitment. Unless, you happen to be the head of OPEC and can directly manipulate the oil market, then none of this is of your own creation.


Commitment is something that comes from yourself, from within. It cannot depend on other people. 


This is why I hate to use the term “commitment” with human relationships. How can we be truly committed to another person? Is it wise or healthy to be absolutely dedicated to another person no matter what? That’s another topic for another podcast. 


But I would ask you to think about the ways you have given up and quit on your dreams, on your goals. In what ways has your inner critic told you to stop while you're ahead.


In economics, we learn about sunk cost fallacy. The sunk cost fallacy is the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial. 


Sometimes it makes sense to abandon a strategy that isn’t working. By all means, quit things that do not serve you. Move on to things that do. But please do not quit on yourself. 


Because if the outcome, goal or results that you hope to achieve are driven by you, and not external forces, it is impossible to have sunk costs. You cannot have sunk costs in yourself. You are always worth the investment. You are worth committing to. You can never be a human money pit. The life of your dreams is worth committing to. 


Here’s a reminder that if your goals, outcomes, and results are not rooted in integrity, then your mileage may vary. 


One easy way to make a genuine commitment to yourself is by joining Joyful on Demand, my subscription based group coaching program, especially designed for legal professionals. Benefit from weekly coaching alongside your fellow members, catch up on a back catalog of courses and so much more. Just go to the Joyful on Demand page at the Joyful Attorney.com and use the code JOYFUL at checkout for one month’s membership completely free. That’s my commitment to you.


Membership will also give you free attendance to my special on-line class on Mindful Communication for Lawyers (just $27 for non-members) on November 9th. 


For the moment, thanks for listening to the Joyful Attorney Podcast and until next time….stay joyful! And committed.